Fresh Start

So~

I have resigned from my previous job and now I am a full time student.

Life (and house) is still messy as me and hubs are trying to fit into my new schedule of being at my lab 8 hours a day. I commute every day by car and oh my, driving for 2 hours return surely tiring. I am now grateful that hubs drive me everywhere before. We did consider for me to commute by public transport but it will be too time consuming and expensive. At the moment a friend from my lab decided to carpool with me.

I am doing a master in philosophy in biotech I think? Everything is still a blur. Hahahaha especially after my proposal was rejected. But then, it was my own fault. I think I am brave enough to submit the proposal as it was the worse. EVER. My proposal presentation also sucked HAHAHAHA. Now I need to redo them and I hope I can think something that is good enough and presentable.

I have left school for almost 2 years,and I always felt that I studied enough during undergraduate years but I was wrong. I did not study enough. I am surprised with my own lack of knowledge. What did I learned and where is all the knowledge went is still a mystery to me. Now I felt that I really have the courage to say to my previous supervisor that I want to pursue my masters when he clearly know that I know nothing about my own studies. Sorry sensei. So here I am, trying to re-educate myself again. This precious change I have gotten this time is my only chance to fix everything.

This new journey wont be as easy as ABC, but Allah will help me. Rabbi yassir wala tuassir

One small step

Nothing will happen if you are afraid to step forward.

The smallest first step is the hardest, but it will be the start for a thousand more journey.

I am currently battling with my inner self.

I am being offered a very good, irresistible deal but I kept feeling off the track. Everyone else are supporting me and urging me to take the deal but I am thinking about my family. The deal is something that I wanted for a long time, having to let it down once as I was pregnant with Husna. But now, I am afraid and worry about Husna and Hubby as well. Can we cope with the big changes after I take the deal? Can I survive? Did I turned softer after marriage? Can Husna survive without her father? They are best buddies.

------

I called my mom.

Actually, returned her missed call. She wanted to talk about other thing but then lead to the deal. Mom said, dont considered about others’ condition as theirs’ can be arranged. Do what I want and what I should. My mom is considering this as a rezeki from Allah. In many way.

TwT

Bulatkan hati, keraskan hati, dont be afraid and do it. Insya Allah this is WHAT ALLAH wants me to do and what He wants me to be. Takyah takut takut nak tinggalkan this comfort zone.

Comfort zone. Is really comforting.

I wake up, prepare Husna’s lunch, pack her milk and bag(sometimes her daddy do the packing,yeah I told you they are best buddies), prepare breakfast, showered, get ready, breakfast, send Husna to Taska and then off to work with hubby. At work, it is stress free,at least to me. Not as stressful as doing research or in engineering. Manageable. I sit in air-conditioned room,in front of PC all day, with toilet breaks here and there while squeeze in between 3 milk pumping breaks. I can have whatever I like for lunch, with colleagues, or just hang in front of PC reading blogs. Then I finish my work at 6 and wait for hubby. Dinner is always home cooked. After dinner we watch TV/movie/lipat baju together.

This, is super comforting. Stress free. Husna is great with her Taska. Our journey to and fro work is toll free and jam free. Less than 30 minutes from home to be exact. Yeah, many should be wondering why I wanted to leave this super comfort life. I dont want to but I came to realise that I have to. For my own sake and for my family sake.

I guess that will do for now. I just have to bulatkan my heart and race towards it. At least I will have a new goal to reach right?

Rabbi yassir wa la tuassir Ya Kareem.

Happy Birthday Husna!

“Oh! happy happy greeting

Omedetou Omedetou

Birthday! Rousoku kesou yo

Kimi to ikiteiru yo

Mainichi Yume ga umareru

Tanjyoubi”

Happy Happy Greeting - KinKi Kids-

Happy FIRST Birthday My dearest daughter!

Mama and Touchan love you to the max!

Kisah kelahiran Himawari Husna *Jeng jeng jeng*

16 Sept 2012, Sunday

It was a busy day. My brother in-law got married yesterday and today was his bride’s side reception. So me and my hubby went to the wedding which was held somewhere in Kepong ke Melawati. Ate, had fun and went to another wedding. My senior/husband’s office mate also got married today at Felda Jalan Semarak. We went there and met Salwati sensei who taught me during my first year at PPKTJ. Alang-alang dekat area KLCC, hubby ajak ke KLCC,round-round. So memang round-round la. Malam tu balik ke Shah Alam. I dont remember why we didnt go back to Puchong that night altho it was Sunday night and hubs supposedly working on the next morning. Cuti ganti hari Malaysia? ke sebab dah nak beranak?

Sampai-sampai aja dekat Shah Alam,we fall asleep after Maghrib. I woke up at 10-ish, coughing badly. Suddenly I felt like I peed in my pants but I cant tahan the pee. So I woke my hubby up and asked him to get me a tissue. Wipe down and saw blood. Oh YEAH! Ze blood show! My baby is coming soon! We decided to go to the hospital that night. So lepas salam dengan in-laws, kitaorg pun off to Putrajaya.

Malam tu tak lah ramai sangat orang, so cepat aja dapat cek. I just 1 cm dilated and the contraction wasnt strong enough so nurse asked me to go home and have a good rest. So we went home to Puchong that night and had a good sleep(not so good for me actually)

17 Sept 2012, Monday

Sebenarnya masa ni, rumah kitaorang tak ada proper tilam lagi. We either slept on toto at living room or on air mattress. Nak jadikan cerita, our air mattress bocor malam 17 Sept. Masa tengah-tengah tidur, terasa makin lama makin nipis. haha. But for me it felt so good as the mattress kinda molded into my body curve and it hugged my big tummy. Bangun pagi tu tak terasa sakit sangat lagi tapi start track contractions pakai app. We went to had a very big breakfast, I had laksam for breakfast and nasi kerabu for lunch. Burp alhamdulillah. Hubby went to office while I spent my day golek golek.

Hubs got home and the contraction starts to get regular. Tapi still boleh tahan. Hubs cooked nasi goreng udang but I can only eat a bit. Then I ushered hubs to sleep in case kena pegi hospital malam tu. I tried to sleep but it was so painful. Kat bawah pun sakit, kat atas sofa pun sakit. tapi still tahannn. sampai lah around 1~2am, when the contraction was about 10 mins apart. I kejutkan hubby and we all siap-siap untuk ke hospital.

Sampai-sampai hospital, VE was performed on me and I was 2cm dilated and had to admitted. Malam tu ramai sungguh yang nak beranak. Sampai ada ramai yang datang lepas I kena pergi ke Serdang atau ke Selayang. Tapi I only dapat masuk ward at 8am although sampai hospital at 3am. Sebabnya walaupun my contraction was regular, my baby seemed to be sleeping and she wasnt moving frequently enough. So I was strapped on the CTG for almost 4 hours with 2 bottles of water inserted into my body.

My parents rushed from KB that morning after we informed that I got admitted. Pagi tu rilek lagi boleh gelak-gelak. Bila sakit I clawed my husband. Lunch time,dapat makan yang sedap. Nasi biryani with ayam tandoori. Tapi xsempat abes sebab dah start sakit.

Bila 3pm camtu tetibe rasa sakit sgt2. So doc check dah 4 cm dilated and I should get into the labor room asap. Nak dijadikan cerita, akak depan katil I pun dah 4 cm jugak, tapi she was expected to give birth earlier than I am as dia dah 2nd pregnancy, so I bagilah dia dulu yang masuk labor room.

Doc datang and broke my water and she also inserted ubat untuk bagi all the poop keluar. Terlari-lari jugak la pegi toilet. Setel semua tu, tukar baju, off to labor room. Dekat labor room satu cerita pulak sebab from CTG, my baby seemed not moving frequently. Macam2 dah dorang buat. Sakit tu perghh sakit lah jugak. Meronta-ronta sampai hubby risau. Long story short, doc nak potong saja I sebab baby tak moving sangat. Macam tidur gitu. So kitaorang pun dah xtau nak pujuk baby macam mana lagi,so we gave our consent to csect. Seriously,dah coax baby,dah urut, baby still xnak bangun tidur. Huuuu. So sign lah surat bagai. At that time rasa bengang sangat sebab sakit kan,doc nak explain this and that sampai rasa nak sepak aja doc tu.

Masuk la pulak ke OT. Epidural and what nots. Masa tengah csect tu I macam kat awang-awangan. Borak-borak blur-blur dengan doc. Lepas baby kuar,she cried so loudly and I laughed. Terasa cam perghh kuat nyaaa nangis. I only got to see her after the nurses cleaned her. Nurse bawa cium dan tunjuk genital dia pun dah wangi-wangi. hihi. Pastu nurse bawak baby jumpa my hubby, my parents and hubby’s parents while the doc stitched me up and bawak me to recuperation room. Best kot kat bilik tu sebab panas. Selesa sampai tertidur-tidur. Then I went back to my ward.

Sana jumpa lah balik dengan miss pipi tembam macam pau. Cerita taihen first night dan susahnya lepas csect kita KIV. Dah panjang sangat dah ni.

So Happy birthday Himawari Husna!

On Cloth Diapers

We have been using cloth diapers for Husna since she is around 2 month old. I first got to know about them from Facebook, after a friend actively posted about them.

Now Husna is 90% on CD,10% being on disposable diapers when we are out and I dont really want to lug around soiled nappy or when she is not well.

The thing with CD, apart from they are eco friendly, they also “kinda” wallet friendly but not during the first time as you need to spend quite a lot to start CD-ing. Aside that, we dont have to closely monitor Disposable diapers(DD) price and dont have to endure smelly soiled nappies at home.

I spent around RM300-RM400 to buy all the CD I am using right now. I bought preused as well as new ones. Preused is relatively cheap but sometimes they are not as good as new ones. A few in my collection is already delaminated after a few uses and I cant use it anymore :(

Since starts with CD, we rarely buy DD. Maybe just a pack in 3 months which almost all the time ended up unused as Husna grown out of the size. Banyak simpan aja. Maka nak beli DD pun biasa beli kat expo aja. Murah sikit. Lagipun haritu Huggies gilagila promo so dpt baaaanyak samples free.

Advantages pakai CD?

- of course la jimat duit. tak de rasa cuak “Yayang!!! diapers dah abesss!!!”

- susah kena nappy rash. yup. Husna kena nappy rash sekali aja. tu pun sebab pakai DD dan DD brand sekian sekian tu tak sesuai dengan kulit Husna.

- Comel. Cuba letak DD dan CD sebelah menyebelah. Sure CD lagi menyerlah dan comel.

- no moar smelly kitchen or room esp bila tak buang sampah lebih dari sehari.

- boleh guna untuk next baby!

Disadvantages(actually xde la disadvantages sgt, cuma low point dia aja)

- kena rajin basuh, unless nak se baldi soiled nappy dalam toilet and toilet berbau.

- nak start tu rasa macam mahal la sikit. huhu~

Banyak mana penjimatan ber CD ni? Meh kira kira sikit

Lets say 1 pack besar ada 80 pcs, baby pakai 6 pcs sehari. 1 pack tu plak harga nya RM35

80pcs per pack/6 pcs per day = 13 hari per pack.

1 bulan 30 hari.

30 hari/13hari = 2.3 pack per month (+/- 5 packs every 2 months)

Katakanlah Baby start pakai CD dari umur 2 bulan sampai potty trained at erm… 3 years old = (12-2)+12+12 = 34 bulan.

34 bulan / 2 bulan = 17

17 x 5 = 85 packs

85 packs x RM35 = RM2975.

While!

kalo pakai CD

lets say we need around 30 pcs of CDs.

sekarang CD paling murah di jual at RM17/pcs.

17pcs x 30 pcs = RM510

Kita masukkan lah jugak sedikit calculation untuk DD dan misc stuff in here

RM510 + [11 packs of DD (dgn calculation of 1 pack per 3 month) x RM35 ] RM385+ RM50 (liners etc) = RM945

So kalo compare CD dan DD

CD = RM945

DD = RM2975

dah jimat around RM2030 tu!

For long term baru lah nampak jimat tak jimat. awal2 xnampak sgt. Selain dr tu, CD ni boleh simpan dan pakaikan kat baby lain juge.

I dont know about others but it seem that CD usage suits us and our lifestyle. If you wanna try it , please, lets CD-ing~

Of Breastfeeding

Alhamdulillah, This September will mark one year of my journey breastfeeding Husna. I dont know how to react if anybody ask me if it was easy or hard. I dont want to sound cocky or full of myself but alhamdulillah, so far, I dont feel troubled by breastfeeding even after I start working. I also feel easy and this might be because Husna is a good baby.

Although Husna was delivered through emergency C-sect due to fetal distress,Husna latched on her first time without any problem. The feeling watching a newborn sucking on boobies for the first time was indescribable. It feels weird at first. But everytime I think about it, I feel like falling in love with my baby again and again. Hihi.

I exclusively breastfeed Husna for about 9 months. Me and my husband also didnt bottle trained her during that period and only start to train Husna once I start working. We had a lot of problem for the first few weeks but it was mainly because of Husna’s then babysitter. Now as I start working, I pump at work, using my trusty manual Unimom pump. No money la to buy freestyle. Huhu. I pump around 3-4 times a day and manage to squeeze max 12oz but normally I bring back 8oz. Sikit? It might be but it is enough for Husna as Husna only drinks from 6oz to 8oz per day at nursery. She eats a lot and also drink plain water, so there is no problem alhamdulillah so far.

If I were to give points on breastfeeding, I would say these points.

1- For the first month, please please please, breastfeed exclusively on demand. Store bottles, formula milks, teats etc out of your sight and out of your mind. At first, it might be hard but dont worry as Insya Allah it will be ok with time.

2- Sucking on boobies is a new thing to learn for babies so they might have take some time to master it. Dont give up and keep on encourage baby to breastfeed.

3- Some friends complained that their babies demand milk often and dont sleep well even after several feedings, making they feel like their milk is not nutritious enough and the amount they are producing is not enough. Hurm.. Breastmilk is easily digested and babie’s stomach is small. Hence, babies seem to be hungry all the time and always demanding for milk. To counter this, just breastfeed the baby on demand.

4- For those who think her milk is not nutritious enough for her baby, stop thinking so. Insya Allah, even without consuming so call milk booster and vitamins, your breastmilk is nutritious for you baby.

5- Some complain that her milk supply is so low and she cant produce like… 30 oz milk per day and dont have a freezer full of frozen breastmilk. This kind of thinking is a bit wrong. One have to remember that “demand=Supply”. The more demand, more milk will be produce. So, IF you wants to have enough supply, always breastfeed your babies with max 3 hours per feeding during the day and 4 hours during night is I am not mistaken.Pump on schedule and dont skip it. Power pumping once in a while. Consuming vitamins and so called milk booster and doing nothing will get you nowhere. Drink 2-3L water per day.

You will get nothing by goyang kaki and expect thing to roll down to your foot. No pain no gain la.

Of Chicken Pox

My LO currently down with chicken pox since last week. Full attack jugak la sampai abes muka,kepala,belakang dan dada. To be truth, it scared me to the max seeing her spotted face and seeing how bad the vericelles. Apart of that, I am actually relieved that Husna already gotten chicken pox.

Chronogically, Hubby spotted some blisters on Husna's private part when changing her nappy on Wednesday night. We thought that it was nappy rash altho the blisters were quite big. So we just ignore them.
Friday evening: We went to a session of bowling game with hubby's officemate and around that time more blisters appeared. I feel like "AHA! chicken pox it is!"
So, we called hubby's brother who is a MO and asked for his advice. Basically there is no meds to treat chicken pox and you just need to leave it to heal naturally. We bathe Husna in oatmeal bath, gave her coconut water, keep the area clean and avoid her scratching.

In short, we had to KIV our 2nd anniversary celebration and focused on Husna. Luckily, my sisters are here so they are looking after Husna at the moment.

Semoga Husna cepat cepat baik nanti kita pegi jalan jalan ye!

05092013

Tajuk tak ada kaitan apa-apa dengan isi karangan belog kali ni. Hanya sebagai tajuk.

1- I need to take a better care of myself. Semenjak kahwin dan dapat baby, dia jadi semacam sibuk. Masa banyak spend kat Baby, Suami dan rumah. huahuahua. Not a good thing actually sebab diri sendiri kena jaga juga. Berbanding dengan masa bujang, ada baaaaanyak masa untuk spend kat diri sendiri: sapu losyen la, scrub badan dan muka la, mask rambut dan muka la, mekap mekap la.... Maybe nak kena create dan curi sikit masa untuk jaga diri sendiri. Muka dah start berjerawat sejak sejak jadi Mama ni, excess weight and spare tires are still there.. Nak kena bersenam/berlarilarian balik, pakai facial care regularly balik.. in short JAGA DIRI balik.
Oh, 1 lagi menda yang dah start malas malas nak buat is makan supplements. Dulu kemain, jamu la, vitamin tuk kulit la, ape lagi? So skang nak kena start balik la nampak nya. Tapi nak makan apa ya? Tengok iklan AuraWhite rasa tempted la jugak nak try but should I? or should I just buy L-Gluthatione pills fromn pharmacy. hahaha. Jamu? hurm hurm hurm....

2- Makeup.
Walaupun dah start kerja dan menjadi seorang OL yang berjaya, satu benda yang aku masih lagi fail: MAKEUP. Malas+keadaan kulit yang tak berapa membenarkan. Kulit muka sekarang jadi agak sensitip,so kalau pakai BB cream lama skit mulalah jerawat menjenguk2. Erm,..nak salahkan BB cream tu pun xpatut jugak sebab BB cream tu lama punya,so mungkin dah sampai masa untuk campakkan BB cream tu kedalam tong sampah...
Pasal mekap la jugak, ada budak kat opis tegur aku tak pakai even the slightest makeup to work. Dia bukan nak kutuk, cuma well, aku pun rasa aku macam x bersiap bila ke opis. Selebet dan selekeh. Nanti-nantilah,bila dah okay sikit kulit muka ni baru kita try try bermekap. Baru macam bili org sket kan?

3- How to lose weight wei...! ada 10 kilo lagi nak kena buang. huuu... bukan takat lose weight,kena bagi fit dan masukkan balik segala lemak lemak spare tires y menggelebeh ni.huu

4- Office dramaaaaa urgh!

Of breastfeeding(BF) and formula milk(FM)

2 (TWO!) posts in a day! Wow! havent done this for the longest time. Well, I might be busy on my GoogleTalk but as MundaneMonday has struck me, I need to channel it somewhere. So,here I am, writing and rambling.
Why not on Fb or twitter?
1- I am super kedekut so I dont subscribe data plan for my handphone.
2- Both are blocked at my office.

SUBSCRIBE DATA PLAN?? *shriek* yes my dear lovelies, altho my husband did asked me to change from prepaid to postpaid, but I dont feel like I need to do so.

Okay, whateverrrr
Back to our title; of BF vs FM. A very sensitive topic in my opinion. But somehow I feel that I need to write my opinion on this.

I am currently breastfeeding my LO. LO is now 11 months old already and I am planning to continue breastfeeding her until she is 2 years old the minimum. But whether I can or not, it is up to what Allah has planned for me.

Eh wait, I am not planning to write about my journey. I was about to write my opinion on a FB post that caught my eyes a few days ago.

There was a post that circulate around FB. The post was written by a lady, to express her gratitude to her husband whose 100% supportive when it came to breastfeeding. She wrote that her husband bought her the best breastpump available, gave her presents, helped her with house chores etc. Lucky her to be blessed with such husband.
I have nothing with what she got or wrote. The only thing in my mind is how her post affected some breastfeeding mamas in my circle.
Some friends reposted/shared the post and tagged their husband and wrote "I hope you can be as supportive as this"
"bahagianya kalau dapat suami mcm ni"
etc etc.
I dont know how will husbands react to comment like that, but 1 husband I saw, commented that he will try his best and he dont want his wife to expect that much from him.

From my view, I think that my friend's husband felt his wife is expecting for him to be as wonderful and supportive the the husband in the FB post. Sapa tak nak suami supportive mcm tu kan. tapi in my humble opinion, bajet bajet la. Tak semua org mampun nak support mcm tu, dan setiap suami ada cara dia sendiri.

My husband is wonderful and supportive that sometimes I feel I am not doing my best. He tends LO every morning and night, plays with LO,changes her diapers, packs her nursery bag and sometimes he even washes LO's CD. We might cant afford to buy the best breastpump available in market, but he is very supportive toward breastfeeding.

I think that one should try not to post something that can make others jealous with what s/he have or posting that can make one feels superior than others. macam "tgk aku ni, laki aku bg t his and that. laki korang apa ada?" Maybe the lady just wants to share with good intention. wallahualam.

aku pun harap aku tak di hasut setan dan terbit perasaan ujub,riak dan sebagainya. marilah kita sama2 berwaspada...!

Sighing Out Loudly

Since last week ada satu post dok circulate kat FB. 

Yang advice (advice ka pengaruh?) all working mamas to stop working and stay at home.

Asal usul post FB tu sebab ada nursery kat Putrajaya yang kurung budak2 kat basement. So mcm nak ckp la kat Full time working mamas semua ni supaya berentilah kerja dan jagalah anak2 sendiri kat rumah. 

Esp kalau si suami mampu nak beli tablet beli smartphones dan lain lain.

From view aku, hurm... tak semua mampu nak duduk bersenang lenang kat rumah jaga anak walaupun suami mampu. Macam aku sendiri. I was a fulltime housewife until LO is 9 month old. Then I start to work. Kalau orang lain, mungkin sampai ke sudah la tak berkerja. Suami mampu nak sara IMO. Aku pun tak kisah xde tablet, xde baju baru tiap2 bulan, smartphone skang pun hidup mati hidup aja. Tapi I have to work. Sebab nya, 

1- Aku ada hutang dengan tuan sponsor yang dengan baik hati telah mensponsor hidup aku selama 7 tahun sejak aku habis SPM(aka, tuan JPA) Semua akan dikira as hutang kalau aku tak berkerja once aku dah balik. 

2- Aku dah berjanji berikrar bersumpah akan berkerja berbakti kepada negara selepas aku berjaya menyudahkan pengajian aku. 

Hutang wajib di bayar kan?

Maka terpaksalah orang2 seperti aku ni bekerja sebab nak membayar hutang.

Oh kalau nak cakap "ala suami gaji besar, biar ajalah suami yang bayarkan hutang tu"

Memang boleh. Tapi jadi menyusahkan dia la pulak. I want to help him not to be a burden. 

"Eh eh,kalau ko kerja xjadi burden ke? Rumah tak terurus, anak kena tinggal" Etc etc

Mungkin, tapi I am trying my best and WE are trying our best. My husband is the most supportive person I have ever met. 

"kesian suami ko. balik rumah pun kena buat keje rumah. Siap kena mandikan anak lagi. ape punya isteri lah ko ni"

(Actual comment)

Yep, memang suami saya bantu buat kerja rumah. Dia xde merungut pun. Lagipun, rumah tu rumah dia juga. Anak pun anak dia juga. Kena lah masing2 bertolak ansur, berkerjasama. I tried my best to prepare home cooked foods for him, at least some breakfast and some salad/rojak for him to eat at office. 

I am learning. And I am adapting. Bukan poff in a day terus jadi super mother super wife.

(Eh termelalut)

Anyhow, tak semua ibu mak mommy mama mother bonda MAMPU nak resign dan jadi housewife. Mungkin ada yang ckp, berniaga dari rumah boleh ape kalau nak duit lebih. Tapi tak semua ada bakat untuk berniaga.

So bajet2 lah dalam mengomen. 

Apakata semua bapa abah ayah daddy papa pulak yang jadi full time house husband? rela?

testing

testinggu

MILF

Since I have becoming a mom myself, I hate the term MILF. NOT Moro Islamic Liberation Front tau. THE other kind of MILF.

I want to be called Hot Mom but not MILF. Why should somebody wants to be called with that term anyway?

How would a father feels if some pakcik looks at your wife and told your child that he wants to screw your wife?
How would a son feels when some unknown guy looks at your mom and says that your mom is his type to screw with?

Still OK and still can be proud of?

How if a pakcik looks at your mom and say `pergh, kalu aku dapat mak kau,memang sampai pengsan aku kerjakan.`
Or
`weh, body bini kau nampak sedap weyh! aku rasa nak kerjakan bini kau abes-abesan`

How? They all sound EWWWWWWWWWW for me. and when thinking all those situations, I feel like persons who LOVES to call other mom as a MILF, view the person they call as a MILF as a prostitute or some AV actress.

Dirty...

My interpretation of MILF might be extreme but this is how I feel every time I hear or stumbled with the word MILF

EW!

Life So far

I havent written for so long. heh berabuk2 dah kot blog ni.

- I had given birth to a beautiful baby girl on September 2012. She is our bundle of joy. She will be 6 month old soon and alhamdulillah for her presence.

- I am still jobless and searching for job frantically right now. JOB PLEASE COMEEEE! I have reasons and I have to find a job before May. JOB WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

On being happy and contented with ones life

I wonder, what should I do in order to make myself sound happy and contented with what I have instead of sounding like a frustrated,unhappy person? Do I have to open my heart a lil bit more or should I stop thinking too much and bury whatever skeletons I have in my closet?

*sigh*

Life so far

It had been a while since I post anything here. haha. Ada sesiapa rindu tak?

My life basically changed from what it is a few months ago. I`d been in emotional and physical roller coaster, been confused, feeling helpless and feeling down most of them.

To cut everything short here the summary;

(Me in convocation hall. Nope, the jubah isnt a norm in Japan)

1) alhamdulillah, I finally graduated. Well, I cant say I graduated with the best result I dreamed but somehow, with my condition during my last few months before graduating, it was the best I can do.

(My thesis)

Alhamdulillah, I managed to keep my promises to my dad when I told him I want to get married during my final semester which was to be able to graduate without extending. Hubby came for my graduation and we had a good time together. We went for a short holiday at Osaka/Kobe, I cooked his fave Gyoza and we had sushi a few times(And I vomited all the sushi out once, after I got home)

(My certificates. Bachelor in engineering now)

(Yup, hubby came for my graduation ceremony Thanks sayang!)

(Gyoza for hubby)

We also went up a ferris wheel for the first time together and I was practically screaming when I was on it because I became gayat. Hubby had a good laugh. Not funny dear..

(The Ferris Wheel at Kobe Port)

2) I am home to Malaysia. This was unplanned. I decided to come home instead of pursuing my masters a few weeks before I actually board the plane. It was an emotional decision for me coz I want to be in Japan a lil bit longer and I want to study a lil bit more.but what to do,this is what Allah planned for me.

(My stuffs are already in Malaysia <3)

3) 5 days before my convocation, I had my first bottle of water down into my vein. This was the proof that I was that unwell during my last 3 months in Japan. I lost around 3kg in 2 weeks, I cant eat or drink, I just want to lie down and sleep all the time. But of course, I cant because I had a thesis to write and a presentation to give. I kinda pushed myself to my limit, and once I called my husband on my way back from lab crying because I was so hungry but I dont have any appetite to eat. And there was several time where I had to knock and asked for food from my friends because I cant cook. But alhamdulillah, I am okay now, except I still dont really eat these days. haha. Plus, it was the first time hubby saw it and the look on his face was simply memorable and it made me mushy from inside.

(Boring boring boring!)

4) Packing 5 years worth of stuffs and junks was tiring! Until now, I still regretting for throwing some of my stuffs instead of posting them to Malaysia. T.T

(My stuffs and another 2 friends`)

5) We(Hubby and I) had made a big decision and well, this might take a toll in our life for a while, but we think this is the right time to do so. Life (and money) maybe harder for the time being but we will try to overcome everything insya allah.

(Insya Allah)

6) Apart from the hectic and the struggle kemasing my stuffs and everything legal before coming back for good, I had a good time with my Kohais and my friends. I miss them a lot now. like RINDU GILEEEEEEER! We went shopping in YoumeTown, had nasi biryami and went to Round1 in Takamatsu(where I kinda pitam and spent my time sleeping instead of playing non stop), Strawberry picking, Makan2 at YoumeTown and many more.

(Kepala Ikan yang sedap! The day I had this was the first day I actually had 3 meals in a day after weeks feeling bad)

(Ikan keli masak sambal!)

I also had a few friends coming to my home. My lovely Nisa came with her kohai and we had a good time together. Her kohai cooked me a very delicious ikan keli masak sambal (THANKS!)

(Our last purikura together. Round1 Takamatsu)

Testing

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posted from Bloggeroid

Ge ge ge no nyoubo

Gegege no nyoubo is currently my fave drama. Oklah memula tgk sebab Mukai Osamu y berlakon tapi lepas tengok, whoaaaaah! tersentuh jiwa dan raga. kenapa?
first of all, aku tak suka cara Ombak Rindu. cam cerita/novel tu ajar supaya pasraaaaaaah aja ngan apa yang jadi. but pasrah and redha is totally different,
kat gegege no nyoubo plak, it make me realized how hard to be a wife. The main character;Fumie was from a kinda wealthy family before she got married to Shigeru yang miskin. tapi family Fumie tak tau tang Shigeru ni miskin. Memang miskin gila umah nak hancur, makanan takde,saving takde.
But Fumie accepted Shigeru anyway...while trying to help Shigeru in many ways. She cooks for him,thought lots of setsuyaku ideas, berjimat cermat etc.

a few points that I`d learned from th edrama is

1- accept your husband the way he is. shigeru well,typical lelaki,barang bersepah2 sampai Fumie kena marah sebab kemaskan barang2 Shigeru. Tapi dorg buat somekind of agreement yang Fumie akan kemaskan bilik tapi tak kacau brg2 Shigeru.

2-let your husband to enjoy his own hobby. Shigeru ni ada satu hobby yang tak brapa kena ngan ekonomi family dorg. memula Fumie mengamuk2 but last2,she tried the thing herself and pastu tersuka n sll tolong Shigeru buat

3- oh did I mentioned that Shigeru have only one arm? even with that, Fumie accepted Shigeru and tak pernah kecik2kan SHigeru.

4- hormat suami and keje dia

5- tak minta berlebih2.

easy say,I LOVE THIS DRAMA! and I do think that every BTB kena tengok.jadi wife susah wooooo

Vendors of My Wedding

AKAD NIKAH


BRIDE`S RECEPTION

11-10-11

Deary Hubby

Happy 27th Birthday! 27 seems like a big number, but I know, deep inside yourself, there is a small 10 years old kid.

But I love all sides of you.

I am sorry, that I can`t be by your side to celebrate your first birthday as a husband. We can` help it, my job at a full-time student needs me to be away from you. Don`t worry, as this isn`t permanent insya Allah.

Thank you, Mak and Abah for having you as their son. I love your son very much.

Thank you, Ibu and Abah, for accepting you and for letting me to choose you as my husband.

Thank you Allah, for giving me chances to meet you and to be your lawful bride.

(First date ever)

Frankly speaking, YOU are the best risk I had ever taken. Of course I have my own doubts and insecurities when we first met, but there was something that made me took the risk, and it was the best risk I had ever took up to date.

(the only pics of us when we got engaged)

I am glad you picked me not some other girls *roll eyes* to be by your side, to be your companion, to be your bride and to be your future kids` mother.

For me, it is the biggest honor a guy can give to a girl.

(Ring exchanging ceremony)

I have my own flaws. Please accept me the way I am, guide me when needed, be my friend, my lover, my partner and I hope I am your missing rib.
I will try to accept all your sides, and I am eager to get to know all your hidden sides as well.

(KB Reception)

I hope, we can be playful, goofy and act nerdy till we old, wrinkled and toothless. I am sure our kids will be ashamed of us, but that what we are, aren`t we? Insya Allah..

(Playing with Timba for kak Tul)

Dear Love, I can`t wait to be back to your side. It have been a week since I flew back to Japan, but the suffering is more than what I expected. Although we do skype, and email here and there, just like when we were in our courting phase, but those won`t be enough as I feel and I know that I am best by your side.

I want to cook for you, help you getting ready for work, send you off to work everyday, be by your side while you watch MU games/play games/read manga/drawing.

I want be by your side; be the one you see every morning, and the last you see before you doze off to slumberland.

I am sorry as I didnt manage to get your present ready on time. Insya Allah, it will be. Besides, you gave me mine a lil bit late right? ;P

(Outdoor Photoshoot, Shah Alam)

We gonna have fights, and disagreements in the future although we try our best not to, and I hope, that won`t fade my love towards you.

We might have difficulties and hardships, and I think that will be spices in our love story.

By the way, Happy First Wedding Month-versary. May Allah gives us lots more months together in the future. May Allah also bless us with good, and obedient kids in the future.

May Allah give us prosperous blessed life.

From your geeky and nerdy wife
Amalina "Cieri" `Aisyah

*Pictures credited to;

1)R'zlley TheShoots- Gambar Tunang

2)10Bucks- Akad Nikah dan KB Reception

3) hafizudinhamdan- Outdoor Shah Alam

Others are from our own collection

Akad Nikah Review

- Hantaran
I made almost all my hantaran by myself with help from my creative cousin, kak Ja. I never knew that making hantaran is quite easy. I specifically told everyone that I dont want any fresh flowers for my hantaran as it is very hard to make sure that the flowers stay fresh all the time. I just stated that I want simple but elegant hantaran. 

I bought the yellow roses and maroon roses from Nona-something and my mum bought the brown bakul from Nilai. My Uncle made the sirih junjung an hour before the akad and it was so beautiful!  
For akad, I gave my beau 5 things; Couple rings which acts as our wedding rings, 3 different kinds of manisan and kuihs, and sirih junjung. 

- Foods
My mum asked her friends to cook up beautiful nasi minyak and everything with some from the foods we made ourselves

- Baju/Tudung/Veil/Kasut

For my akad`s baju, my mum tempah it dekat Shah Alam. Sebab kain yang I nak tu, kat area rumah I xd orang yang brani nak buat,. I freakingly love my baju. my kain flows beautifully. 


as for kasut, I bought mine from Outlet in Kyushu when I went there for a soccer match. I got them at 1980yen which was a steal coz the kasut matched my baju perfectly.

I bought my tudung from Tursab and had kedai near Pulau Melaka to iron the bling blings on it. 

From the first time I saw mantilla veil, I knew I wanted to wear it for my wedding. But I cant find any that I like so I sew my veil myself. I bought 2m lace from Kamdar (sale! RM19.90 per meter) and cut it into the shape I thought will be the most beautiful. Then I salvaged all the lace and sew it around the veil. but unfortunately, the lace wasnt enough so I went to Kamdar again and bought another 1.5m of the same material. I also sew some pearl like beads along my veil and beaded it with brown beads. 

- Handbouquet

I had 2 handbouquets. One from the bridal, and the other one, I tempah from Cik Tipah. I wanted a pink flowers with she managed to make them as beautifully as I wanted. 
Some people asked me why didnt I ask for  fresh flowers? Like what I write before, fresh flowers are not only hard to maintain but also very expensive. They also dont last very well.

- Dais

Its pink again. hahaha. I didnt mean it but well..hehehe. We had it done from a bridal center near our house. It was called Eifa Bridal or something.

- Makeup
For nikah, I had my 2 pupu to make me up. hehe. she did my makeup for my tunang too.

I am now at Cherating




with my Hubby.


yes guys, you read it right, I am married <3