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I need to stop running away.
I need to stop manja-ing myself.
I need to be harsh to myself.

Jangan manja manja.
You need to be tough in order to survive.
Your world will not always tinted in rose color.

Dah, Study weh.
Esok 4 papers.
Diulangi, EMPAT KILLER PAPERS.
One which I dont know why I am taking it,
One which I really need to understand.
One which I keep running away from.
and The last one which is The super basic one but the most important one.


kepala dah start pening2.
I am starting to find comfort in foods..

this isnt good
NOT good at all...

dah pegi study nuh.
study and tawakkal.

69

Seperti yang ramai(mungkin) sedia tahu, aku dah selamat menerima diploma 19 mac lepas.
Happy woh!
I am finally a diploma holder in Applied chemical engineering.
It also means that, I am going to start to live alone.
Here I am almost 4 months after starting living alone, writing what I feel and what I gained and of course lost in this short time.

1- Living alone = needs a lot of money. I need to pay my mansion rent, bills (electric, gas, water and internet).
2- I need to learn how not to buy foods more than I am going to eat.
3- Kena bajet duit leklok. Kejap sangat duit ilang. Dulu ok la sebab takde nak pakai sangat but now, takde duit=tak leh bayar sewa,=kemungkinan letrik,air,gas kena potong adalah sangat tinggi,=kena berlapar.
4- BAsuh baju lipat baju sangat la memenatkat.sebab nak kena make sure yang tak hujan or else, baju basah atau lembab and kena basuh balik.
5- rumah mesti kemas. aaaaaa. Leceh jugak nak bajet sume spick and span. Especially bila summer where lumut lumut senang tumbuh.
6- Sampah. Lambat aja buang mesti membusuk. Dah la dah di tetapkan hari apa boleh buang sampah. terlepas aja mesti membusuk dalam rumah. >.<
7- Kena jimat. Especially dalam letrik,air dan gas. Oh, tenet takpe, sebab unlimited. yang lainlain tu kalau tersalah pakai terlebih pakai banyak la kena pakai.
8- Barang barang dalam rumah = banyak duit. mula mula masuk takde apa menda. ada dapur gas dan mesin basuh aja. Tu pun dah lebih kot. Kena beli fridge, karpet, meja study,periuk mangkuk pinggan sudu garfu, tong sampah, toilet paper,kitchen paper, beras sume.owh TV aku dapat dari senior dan a few others things so sangat la bersyukur jimat a few ten thousand yen.
9- Masa berjimba adalah bertambah dengan sangat pesat. Tiap tiap minggu ada event atau pegi ain.
10- organizing life, as dah takde orang nak jaga,tengok diri ni. nak buat apa pun takde orang nak bising atau marah. Unless la pegi kacau orang tu.huhu

dah mau pegi siap2 tuk kelas~

68

I dont want to be an idol

Or being looked up

Or being popular

Nope

Not at all

I just want to be loved by people who really knows how to appreciate me

67

I blog less and lesser these days....
Sindrom malas

***

Kenapa orang mesti nak melabel orang lain and nak medescriminate orang?
I mean like `ok member ni tak cukup islamic/cool/best/bandar/tak cakap bahasa baku tuk aku tegur/kawan`.
Walhal before ni memang baik ngamngam ala ala tidur sebantal (perumpamaan aja)
I am not pointing this to anyone, more to remind myself and I just wanna convey to all how I feel when something like above happens to myself.

I am frustrated.
I am sad.

Why cant we just be friends like we used to be?

Suddenly,the way I look/think/act/talk become a barrier in our friendship?

Stop the nonsenses!

Yep, Aku tak cukup islamic up to your standard lagi. I dont post islamic quotes or islamic songs. But I still have my own ground to stand up to.

Yes, Aku malas nak berbahasa baku.

Haah, Aku gadis kampung yang serba serbi kekurangan dan kekampungan. Manalah aku reti pasal gig dan indie ni.

Oui, Aku langsung tak cool. I hate hanging my DSLR around my neck and I opt to bring my compact camera around more. As I hate to be a follower.

Hai, Aku sangat bodoh. Ada banyak benda yang aku kena tanya baru aku paham. I am neither born full with information in my head nor born genius. Thats why I ask around, sometimes question that makes me look like stupid and ignorance bitch or she-knew-it-all. Malu bertanya sesat jalan duhhhh!

Oh yes, I aint pretty. Not at all.  I even have problems with my self esteem.

***

Exams stating next week.
Counting my days to *tuuttttttt* *tuuuuttttt*

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