Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Chenta Internet



Hohoho~ tu dia~ tajuk yang agak kontroversi.

Cinta Internet = Cinta Chat, Cinta Friendster, Cinta Facebook, (dah ada ke cinta twitter?) etc etc etc.

........


(hilang idea nak tulis apa. rilek kejap,makan-makan,minum-minum,tengok movie kejap)

Frankly speaking, aku susah nak jatuh hati/jatuh suka dengan orang. lagi-lagi dengan orang yang aku tak pernah jumpa. So, chenta internet ni, aku tak paham. Tak paham macam mana boleh suka dengan orang yang kita tak pernah jumpa. tak pernah bersua muka.
(tetiba teringat macam zaman dulu-dulu ala arranged marriage la pulak xpernah jumpa gitu)

Aku sangat susah nak jatuh sayang/chenta/suka. sebab aku jenis careful. TOO careful dalam hal macam ni. dan biasanya aku akan cuba untuk deny perasaan aku sendiri. sebab aku takut. takut dikecewakan. takut pada macam macam.

pernah ada orang yang aku kenal dari internet suka aku sangat-sangat sampai nak bawa diri ke luar negara lepas aku reject dia. aku tak paham macam mana dia boleh suka kat aku yang weirdo ni sampai tahap tu sekali
(well, he is happily married already)

A few weeks ago, ada orang confess dia suka kat aku. well, dia tak de la minta aku jawab terus. tapi, aku takut.
bukan takut aku terjatuh pada dia.
tapi takut aku terkecewakan dia.
takut aku sakitkan hati dia.
He has been a very good friend for me.
and I have been losing friends, good friends because of this heart thingies.
and I dont want to lose some even more.
that`s explain why sometimes I either try to avoid that guy or I change my attitude towards him.
dengan harapan dia akan benci sama aku, atau hilang rasa suka dia tu.

if any of this happens, it just shows me that the guy doesn't love me enough for me to love him back.
baru kena test sikit terus hilang/berubah perasaan.
if you really like me, then you should be able to wait for me.
You should never stop to try and try although you know my heart is not open to you (yet)
Guy, mungkin satu hari nanti, all of your hard work will pay off.

tte, dalam ramai-ramai guys yang aku kenal, hanya ada a few, boleh bilang dengan jari aja yang reti nak handle aku. (note; I am hard to handle, suka buat ikut kepala sendiri, stubborn) I mean, he/they really know how to react when I am mad or angry or sad or anything. they know how to turn my mood to a positive one. Like there were one time when I am so mad that I used vulgar words, one of the guys, he didnt lecture me `you girl cant use that words yada yada` but he interpret it into something else. eg; WTF isnt `what the F%&$%` but `what`s the fun` or something like that you get the idea kan?
he knows how to make me smile because usually, just a smile and the rain is gone (tetibe nyanyi lagu westlife apekes)


(kenapa orang yang kenal aku dari internet senang nak mesra dengan aku compared dengan orang yang kenal aku luar internet. padahal sama je aku luar dan dalam internet.most of the time)


-what is the point of me writing this entry?-

3 comments:

calvin said...

The moment I saw the title, I terus terasa hahaha!!
Just follow your instinct, and don't pressure yourself too much.
Then, everything will be fine :D

Anonymous said...

For a person who has top credentials and claims he/she has perfect command of the English Language,you do seem to make such simple mistakes which I would not waste my precious time pointing out.

You have the talent.Try harder :)

Cieri said...

@calvin-
not you lah..
iyep.this time I am going to follow my instinct and take the time while enjoy myself on the same time~


@anon-
I never claim that I have perfect command of English. Plus this entry was written in rojak so I did not really bother to check all the grammar mistakes.
But I really appreciate your honest comment and I will try my best in the future.
Thank you.