39

I'm currently struggling on finding a place just for myself.
A place just for me.
A niche.
My niche.
Everywhere I go
Everytime I go to a new place.
Its not something new as I am not very good with people.
*sigh*
Well,what will be,will be.
and I am going to prepare myself for anything.

38

I am missing twitting
I am missing chatting on the YM
I am missing updating my blog
I am missing reading blogs and bloghopping
But I cant do anything as I am still internetless and homeless.My house isnt ready yet.*sedih*
I am currently staying at Nina's. Thanks Nina~

Cooked tofu hamburger yesterday and it was nice~ I am going to try to make the cabbage with egg on the top thing tomorrow. Hehe.
I cant wait to officially become a undergrad student~
Gambarimasu kara.

37

Ape korang pikir pasal kawin masa belajar?
Samada duadua student atau satu masih belajar dan satu lagi sudah keje.

-I know, I know,maybe ramai would tell me, 'ko nak urus diri sendiri pun xleh, let alone nak kawen. forget about it ecah. you are still a kid'
Yes, I am a kid at heart but this isnt for me.
Someone asked me this and I want to know others opinion.

Come on guys, dont label me as gatal or what. Face it. Now or later we have to think about something like this. We are not teenanger anymore. OK?

36

Aku selalu cakap 'I dont deserve him/you' kan?
Guess what.
If I dont deserve you,then who will be the one for me?
Some jerk?
Nope,I DO DESERVE YOU!
AND I WILL TRY MY BEST TO BE THE BEST THE CUTEST FOR YOU.
Plus,if I am not who else will kan?
If I cant love you now,how am I going to love you when you are old and grey?
ーCharlie Brownー

あなたの隣に付いて行くから。悲しい時でも、幸せな時でも、苦しい時でも、楽しい時でも、どでも、いつでも、あなたの隣にいたいから。もう二度と迷わないから。

Like how you had choosed me,thats how I had choosen you from the beginning.
Nobody like you and of course,nobody else are like me.
Hehee~
ー自信の満々niー

on the other stuff
I am moving out of Niihama earlier than planned. This make tonight is my last night here.
uhukuhukuhuk.
Cepat2 kemas barang.weeee..

35

Read this on StarOnline Today

Newborn girl abandoned at rubbish dump

IPOH: A newly born baby girl was found abandoned at the rubbish dump of a shopping mall here.
Passers-by who found the baby wrapped in a piece of cloth took her to the Raja Permaisuri Bainun Hospital here Saturday.
The hospital's deputy director, Dr Raimi Goon said Sunday that the baby, who was brought in at around 6pm, was healthy and did not suffer any injury despite being abandoned at the dump.
Ipoh police chief, ACP Azisman Alias said police received a report on the matter and urged anyone with information of the case to contact the nearest police station. - Bernama

More babies are abandon everywhere in Malaysia.
Takdak hotak ka?
Buat reti, protection tak mo (mahal kan nak beli kondom,plus malu r nak g 7E beli menda tu aja), pastu bila dah terjadi, Buang meratarata. Hoi! Kalau dah sangap sangat nak buat sangat, chanto pakai la kondom tu. Member aku yang jadi Nurse ada cakap, kondom ada available kat klinik klinik. Free je pun.
Aku tak menggalakkan free sex atau sex before marriage etc etc. Hanya geram ngan orang yang tak reti nak pakai otak. Sekolah tinggi tinggi, tak boleh pikir ke consequence dari apa yang ko buat tu. Hukeleh, takkan la tak tau kalau bersetubuh akan leads to pregnancy. Dok era mana kalau tak tau tu.
Or sebab sayangkan kekasih hati sangat2 sampai I will give you all that I have, my heart my body owh sayang I love you muax muax muax selamat berlayar di dalam napsu. 9bulan lepas tu, uwek uwek menangis baby dalam tandas dalam longkang tunggu masa nak kena baham dek anjing
Learn not to trust people too much biarpun orang tu cakap I love you abang sayang you aku chenta sama mu. Set limit bila berchenta. Berchenta aja pun. Bukan semestinya ko kawen ngan dia.
(mengingatkan diri sendiri gak ni)

Aku kesian kat baby2 tu.
Dorang tak berdosa. Suci. Pure. Seputih kain putih. Yang berdosa nya orang yang buang baby2 tu. Yang buat hanya tuk keseronokkan sementara.
Aku nak baby2 tu kalau ada orang nak bagi.
Biar aku jaga. Aku nak.
Dorang tu masa depan kita, masa depan Malaysia. Kita boleh prevent dorang dari hancur kalau kita tak leh prevent generasi kita hancur.
Girls out there, jaga diri. Tetapkan pendirian anda. Jangan mudah terpengaruh dengan katakata manis seorang lelaki. Selagi dia tak jabat tangan tok kadi, selagi tu la jangan percaya dia all out. Beres?
Guys, behave yourselves too. Before ko buat paper, cuba pikir what if orang lain buat menda yang sama to your kakak,to your adik and to your anak.
We seriously in need of sex ed.

***

below this point sume randomness. malas nak buat entry banyak2 sumbat masuk 1 aja

Read more »

34

Last final time boleh guna phrase 'Balik Niihama'

OTW balik dari Kansai International Airport. Menghantar ibu abah akasyah izzah balik ke Malaysia.

Kitekurete,arigatou! Mata nippon ni kite ne!

pic; peneman balik. AoChan (you know, Abah panggil AoChan 'anak monyek') n HoneyOrangeFrappuchino. Jadi la dari sorang sorang right?

33

!!GRADUATED!!
第44回新居浜工業高等専門学校卒業式

32

Had a dream.
Unpleasant one.
Devastating.
Feel like crying.

I dreamt Allah took away one of the most important thing at the moment.
Which I cant imagine what to do if I lose it now.
When I need it the most now.
Made me woke up to complete blur and clueless.
I dont know what to do, what to say if it really happens.
I am stil not ready for it even I always say that I am ready.
Because It feels different this time.
Yeah. I know, the thing isnt mine yet, and I will lose it anytime.
Benda yang hanya dipinjamkan buat sementara,bukan untuk selamanya.
But stil its too much to lose it.

I dreamt Allah took away EncikDia from me..
Encik Asnawi from me..
Forever.

Please say that it was just a dream..
Say that it was just a dream..
Please..
Please not now..
I am not ready yet..

31

membebel kejap~
taknak baca pun xpe. worthless unless your name is Ao.

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30

New ring I bought yesterday at Minotopia Besshi.
'A' stands for 'Amalina' or 'Aisyah' or even both. And also stands for his initial.
なんちゃって
I havent finish kemasing my stuff yet and currently drowning in junks. 5 days to graduation. Phew~
Well, I am better off the keitai and go finish kemas2.
BTW,internet is stil down and I dont know when I am going to be online. I can be reached by either of my softbank number(sms,email,call) or by my celcom's(strictly sms only.roaming costs like hell!).
I am missing twitter so much!

P/S:Its 14/3 today fyi. Am I not going to get anything from you Mr.A? Well on the other thought,maybe I wont get anything. oh well. I get it. I wont say anything.

(誰も１人じゃないから)

29

Checklist

Read more »

28

On Hachimitsu to kuroba (Honey and Clover)

He suggested the anime and I gave it a try.

36 episodes in 2 days.

Marathon beb Marathon sampai sakit belakang dan ada orang kena layan aku emo emo lepas habis tengok anime ni (bwek! padan muka)

I will skip the synopsis etc as this anime is an old one.

At first, aku ingat cerita komedi, bila tengok yelah, budak kecik

but heck! I was wrong.

Serious beb! I even cried few times.

I love seeing Morita and Hagu chan`s relationship. It is something that you doesnt have to say it by words. Something that you knows it naturally as they kind of attracted to each other. And yes, they do attracted to each other. Maybe thats how things work. You get attracted to the one for you without any reason.

I like Morita for his childishness, his words, his sweet gestures and everything. Hagu for her passion. Nomiya for his willingness to wait for Ayu and for his gentleness.

Recomended r anime ni! Lama sket tapi best!!

After seeing the anime I feel like

1. 
   
   Ride a Ferris wheel. A big one.
2. 
   
   Go to Hokkaido by Hokutousei
3. 
   
   Go to Odaiba
4. 
   
   Watch the anime again with the person who introduced me to it
5. 
   
   Fall in love

*****

On the `other stuff`

I am taking a big risk in my life

Nope...

Rather than a `risk`

This is a `chance` 

A `chance` I had always dreamed and wanted

Yet I had been running away from

As I used to be afraid of falling down and to get hurt again

This time,

I am not going to run again

Even if this means I have to hurt others

or I myself will cry in sadness

or to be broken into pieces again and again

But now,

For the moment...

I am happy

and I want this to stay as long as it can...

Forever and ever...

And

I THANK `YOU`

(I know you are reading this kan? Yes, this is about you and about that)

I wont say anything what is this about.

Figure it out yourself as it was already clearly stated somewhere else on the net

27

***edit***
last last
我慢できなくて、
電話してしまった
Resulting in kena gelak
Hampeh
*cover malu*
・・・・
このときの自分が大嫌い。。。
精一杯逃げたいけど
なかなか逃げられない
風が通らない場所に隠れたい。。。
でも
風からは逃げられないでしょう?
どこへ行っても
いつも吹いてる
今
精一杯我慢してる
面倒くさがりやの風に
重い荷物になりたくないから
いつでも元気で笑ってる太陽になりたい

知ってる?

太陽ってさ。。。

他の人を光るために。。。

自 分が燃えてる。。。

粉々になるまでに自分を燃やす。。。

少しずつ。。。

何も残るまでに。。。

燃えて る。。。


大丈夫
時間がかかるでも
たぶん一人で立ち直れる
全部飲み込んだら
きっと大丈夫から

26

Life updates

- had a long talk with someone yesterday. very very long. about a lot of things.
- I had finished my exams, done my thesis and presentation and I am on my spring hols waiting for graduation. at last. alhamdulillah.
- I havent start packing yet and still under shocked seeing all the things I have in my room. I want to throw it all if I can.
- it is weird and amazing how you can be honest with someone and doesnt afraid to let he/she knows what inside of you.
- I am still adjusting and please bear with me.
- upon someone`s suggestion, I downloaded hachimitsu to kuroba and falled in love with the anime.
- Mizore today! 9/3=ari berterimakasih ke ape dattake? its freaking cold wei!
- I am now stucked in the lab helping my junior with her experiment.
- missing a lot people.

25

kontroversi ke kalau aku tulis pasal kawen? tak kan? Tipu r kot kalau aku cakap aku tak mo kawen. Or xd perasaan time tengok gambar member2 kawen. sedeh sebab xd/xdapat join and maaa... pikir pasal diri. pun ada~

Aku tulis ni untuk diri aku. untuk rujukan aku di masa depan agar aku tak lupa. jangan la buat spekulasi yang aku da nak bertunang ke kawen ke. kalau dah sampai masa, insya allah aku informkan la. Buat masa skang, takde paper lagi. so shhh senyap!

so, as for MY own references, untuk peringatan kepada diri sendiri dan juga untuk reference Bakal Mr Hubby....
(sebab panjang sangat, click for more deh.)

Read more »

24

How should I kemas all this stuff???? Barang banyak sugiruuuuuu!!!!! @.@

*died*

23

（Written during my last 30minutes as a student if Niihama Kosen. )

今日がこんなに早く来るなんて、思ってなかった。
3年間早かった!
それだけじゃなくて、あっという間に、5年生の生活も終わってしまった。
あっという間に、卒研や発表など終わった。
夢見たい。
この3年間には泣いたり、笑ったり、怒ったり、楽しんだりした。
失敗こともあって、いいことももちろんあった。
今日どうやって過ごしたらいいかな、ずっと考えてたが結局、何も特別なことをしてなかった。
普通な授業の感じでいてた。
これから、皆サンと別れだ。
1年後、5年後、10年後、私のことを覚えてくれるかな?
この変な留学生。
また、皆サンと会えるかな?

まだ色々なこと言いたいよ。

みなちゃんともっと仲良くなりたかったよ。
山田氏、いつもお世話になりました。特に３年生と４年生の実験のとき。
幸恵ヘン、大好き!!!!!!
原おじさんともっともっと話したい。
まいちゃん家へまた行きたいわ。
ミッチともっともっと話したい。
安本君、最近あまり話してくれないね。席遠いし。いろいろありがとう。いつも教えてくれて、ありがとう。
リリー、もう。。。。何で今日来なかったの?会いたかった
サチコ、また色々なこと話しましょう。どこか遊びに行こうよ。お母さんのおはぎ美味しかった。
コユキちゃん大好き!!!!私時々コユキちゃんに怒ってることもあったでしょう?ごめんな。
大地君のこと怖かったよ。５年生の体育の授業からずっと。
森井君、私はミステリアスじゃないよ。
etcetcetc.
tulis bebanyak kang, nangis plak. 私、涙もろいなあああ最近。まあ。。。元々泣き虫だもん~
hahaha. sengal.

22

Never ever take anything for granted.
Especially people around you.
If he/she is important to you,
say it and mean it.
Make she/he feel important.

And never makes she/he regret the decision she/he had taken for you.
You never know what in his/her mind.

21

Dulu, ada orang pernah cakap pada aku
` Kau ubah pemikiran aku, ubah diri aku. Aku jadi orang yang lebih baik lepas aku kenal kau`
(something like that)
Tapi aku tak percaya pada kata-kata dia.
Sebab, aku tak rasa aku boleh ubah diri orang. 
Aku hanya seorang gadis biasa yang ada dimana-mana saja.
Nothing particularly special about me.
Plus, aku tak rasa diri aku berubah bila aku kawan dengan dia.
無い、全然変わってなかったと気がする、だから信じてない

But now I do believe in that.
There is a person out there who have a power to change you into a better person, that nobody else can.
For you to be a better person than before.

Kau,
It is not only you who changed in the last few months.
I did too.
Like you, I am liking the way I am now.
私はね、自分の感情を表現するのは苦手なんだけど、
今、たぶん、あなたには、「ありがとう。」しか言えないよ。

And,
I really thank Allah for giving me a chance to know someone like you.
For giving me a friend like you.
For making you to cross my life path.
Even if this isnt forever.
(sorry kalau aku pikir negatif.)
Dear Allah,
although I do not deserve this at all,
I want this to stay for a little longer.
Just a little bit longer.
Maybe I might seem to be greedy,
I want this to be mine.
Forever.
If I may.

アオチャン、ありがとう！これからもよろしくね！


なんかちょっと言いたいことは完璧に言えない。我慢してね。Had I lost my aibility to speak myself out?