87

Summary of 2010 (Blog)

I`d written 104 (105 including this entry) entries.
The most entries was written in March with 19 entries in total.
The least entries was written in September with 2 entries in total.
My blog now has 62 followers and 16258 hits since I dont know when. But not since I started the blog.

JANUARY
1- Started fresh with `something` between me and a friend resolved.
2- Started my own blog shoppe Gemini*Shoppe
3- All I want is to be happy.
4- Super busy.
5- Suddenly want a pet. A cat to be exact
6- WISHLIST!!!!
7- Was thinking about making a very big decision about something that I thought going to break my heart into pieces.
8- Struggling with my Thesis
9- Missing my High School
10- Was mad about this Valentine promotion

FEBRUARY
1- Wrote about taking risk. The same stuff like the one I wrote in January. And yes, I am glad I took the risk.
2- Paid for my uni`s fee. A whopping MYR11K/290000yen
3- Hati berbunga bunga. kat sini pun

MARCH
1- Well,This entry summed up what I am feeling. #^-^#
2- Wrote about my classmates in Niihama Kosen in this entry.
3- Fell in love with Hachimitsu and Clover.
4- Busy Busy BUSY. With a lot of stuff.
5- Agak jiwang. muahahaha.
6- And I know, he is important to me.
7- GRADUATED FROM NIIHAMA NATIONAL COLLAGE OF TECHNOLOGY!
8- Ke Kansai International Airport again and again. This time was to send my parents and 2 youngest brother and sister back. They came to Japan for my Graduation. ^O^
9- Bulan ni banyak betul kes buang baby. X.X
10- Getting ready tuk pindah dari Niihama ke Tokushima.
11- Sensitive Issue. At least, to me.
12- Internetless for the longest of time >.<
13- Struggling in new place.

APRIL
1- Start living alone and as an undergrade. At last!
2- Never thought that I am going to be this busy!
3- LDR.
4- Banyak kalut and serabut bulan ni. sebab tak terbiasa lagi dengan life baru. Here and here and here
5- Finally bought this poster that I had dreamed since I was in Niihama.
6- Golden Week and aku rasa ada poltergeist la kat rumah ni.

MAY
1- Went to Bisan during midnight. Freakingly cold! Well actually,had a fight with him and he made me cry.
2- Confused about `friendship`
3- Starting thinking about The big M. Wrote about it here,and here
4- Emo.

JUNE
1- Nervous!!!
2- Turned 24 years old. This time with someone special by my side and with lots of people celebrating my birthday. And I got my Mikochin on my dad`s birthday~
3- Dah start panas melekit2

JULY
1- EMO (lagiiii!)
2- Dan lagi.
3- Lagi....
4- Summary on living alone.
5- Exams!!!!= EMO!!!

AUGUST
1- Wrote about my long time crush, Domoto Tsuyoshi.
2- Trying 30 days challenge of myself which I quited at day 16. Talking about unconsistent....

SEPTEMBER
1- relatively TIRED.
2- And emo. again. despise what actually happened in real life.

OCTOBER
1- Wrote about the guy I mentioned in January.
2- Latest pic + Autumn in Tokushima
3- Starting to hate AIRPORTS. And how dull is Autumn in here compared in Kosen.

NOVEMBER
1- I am officially FAT.
2- Feeling insecurity. What? I am a normal human with feeling la.
3- Migraine attack.

DECEMBER
1- I am not a nerd anymore!!! *cry*
2- Wordless Wednesday~~~ Here and here~
3- I want a IPAD!!! And how good cytoplasm-me looks in iPad...



conclusion- Banyak entry emo! urgh.... That shows that, I am not 100% happy yet. Need to work more on that side of mine.

To be continued on the next part.

Wordless Wednesday

86

Can I have this for erm.... Whatever please?

Wordless Wednesday

85

I used to be a nerd back in my Maahad days.

A nerd who brought not only her KBSM text books but also her reference books to school everyday.

I opted to read the books or my notes during bus trips to and fro school with exception of mangas. I always had manga with me. Not those remaja mags or Cleo as I hate remaja and I haven't meet Cleo yet. Always manga and English novels and school books.

I was diligent in school works and can easily spend my time at school.

I aimed for the highest for the best and never wanted to be the second best.

I never talk back or gossip about teachers coz I believed that if I do so, the ilmu I get is without blessings.

I faithfully do my works went to any school programs and events. I never thought of skipping classes.

I would skip lunch to do extra rounds of Koop duty or just because I had works to be done or I want to sleep

I never complain of the heaviness of school works or the amount of notes I have to rewrite into my notebooks or how bored some class is.

The only thing I did was to break uniform rules.

Apart from that, where did the nerd went?

I eat a lot. Skipping any meals is unthinkable.
I sometimes talk about my lecturers.
I sigh and whine and try to get away from my school works and assignments.
I want to go home as early as I can.
I neither aiming for the best nor second best, I just want to get this done as fast as I can.
I hate my assignments. And I hate reading my textbooks.
I whine and whine and whine.

I whine aboutt my assignments I whine coz I have full class everyday I whine coz I have to get up early I whine n whine n whine! This isn't me. I hate who I am right now. Selfish Aisyah bimbo Aisyah. No! That isn't me. I'm Amalina. Where did the nerd Amalina went???

Resolution! Get the nerd Amalina back!!!!!

84

I used to get this kind of headache once in a month, or worse, more than once since I was in primary school.
It feels like something pounds my head. Not with hammer but with a soft hammer making my head spins and makes me nauseated. It usually occurs late in a day; around Maghrib to midnight. If the headache attacks me, I am hopeless and can't do anything but to turn off lights and TV, radio or any sound making devices and sleep.

(extra sensitiveness to light and sound, checked)

It usually occurs on my frontal head or sometimes on the back of my skull.

The thing I hate the most is the aftermath of the attack.
( didn't really hate the attack as I just need to pop a PCM or two, turn off any light and/or sound making devices and just sleep)
But the aftermath is the worse. I usually wake up in the middle of the night, STARVING as if all my energy was used to treat the headache.
Then, my foot and hands will be as cold as I'd been playing with snow all day.
I also can't wear my lenses and my mood also effected. But I can't help it. The pain subsided but the effect is still there. My neck is as stiff as pinocchio's, my head feels numb.


I just suffer an attack last night. One of the worse one this year.

And now I'm suffering the aftermath. And starting to imagine pentanol's smell out of nowhere.




Wait a second, did I just described a migraine attack?

83

Noun	1.	insecurity - the state of being subject to danger or injury danger - the condition of being susceptible to harm or injury; "you are in no danger"; "there was widespread danger of disease" insecureness - the state of being exposed to risk or anxiety security - the state of being free from danger or injury; "we support the armed services in the name of national security"
	2.	insecurity - the anxiety you experience when you feel vulnerable and insecure anxiety - a vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some (usually ill-defined) misfortune

Is not good at all.

82

okeh.
kita tarik napas panjang panjang...
hembussssss
tarik lagi.....
hembusssssss

MASA UNTUK MENERIMA KENYATAAN

The Truth that,


I AM FAT.
I AM NOW ONE FAT GIRL.

okeh,yang nak mengomen, `ape gemuk nye ko...you look just fine to me.`, please dont do so, coz, I am fat now.

Self realization.

Semua nya bermula pada suatu tengahari yang tenang, dengan cuaca yang begitu mengasyikan untuk kembali beradu didalam selimut berkuasa elektrik sambil di temani penguin gebu kesayangan

NOT

actually ditemani suara seorang yang geram. `tidor je keje, cuba lah gerakkan badan tu.ni dok tidor tidor pastu merungut dah gemuk`
That was MrBeau

Tang tang tu la, gambar ke Bizan semalam,ada orang upload. And my oh my, what did I saw?
My freaking humongous big thigh and cheek. Not to mention my spare tires are clearly visible here and there.

That my dear friends, are the proof that I am no longer as slim as what I used to be and I am now F.A.T

I miss wearing my white jeans from my PPKTJ days. And the grey slack I bought a few years ago. And those nice tops and blouses which a no no to me now.

I realized that, I was slim and SLIM when I was in my MMP and PPKTJ due to the fact that I was physically active. I used to go for Taekwondos training which lasted for 3 hours per week. I walked here and there, sometimes just for a bungkus of nasi. I STUDIED FOR HOURS AND HOURS. I can eat a whole loaf of bread and another plate of rice and stay skinny.

No wonder why.

Gonna change my life style. Limiting my calories intake and changing my diet did me nothing. Gonna work my self up and crank my metabolism up a few notch again.

-one of my 2010 and 2009 resolutions which didnt work. *sigh*

81

currently, I am strangled by my own hair.

I have been spending the last half hour trying to get this big blog of tangled hair into its silky smooth matter again.

I am this close of getting a hair cut and chop off my long locks into a bob. or have them permed into nice wavy curls (but in other hand,NO! as my hair is prone to tangle)

No-no to cut them off to. This is because, I am easily get charged and it means, I am prone to electric static. Especially in dry weather is the winter. 

IF I cut my hair into a bob,the charges will make my head looks like a mushroom. Big fat mushroom. I will look like one everytime after showers and waking up from sleep.

*sigh*

it seems that I have to bear with these tangles. gonna get them off my head.buhbye~

80

Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me. 

(quoted from Ike Graham, Runaway Bride 1999)

I ♥ you MrBeau

 01112010

[IKLAN]

3D pop-up 2011 calendar

COMING SOON TO GEMINI*SHOPPE

stay tune to http://geminishoppe.blogspot.com as the cute calendar will come to you anytime;

PSST; MORE TO COME SOON~

79

I used to like going to airport.
Going there means either; I am going back to Malaysia, or, I am going back to Japan which either is something I used to look forward to.

Read more »

77

My latest pic.
Aku tengah blogging kat lab PC with sensei kat blakang ahahaha.
I am the one one the right ye. Jangan salah orang.

This is one of my latest pic with me wearing the inner yang ada awning and shawl yang kaler2 meriah2 camni.

I am still fat with 6*kg. Now at my heaviest. Trying to find ways to lose the stubborn fats and slim away. But still no luck.

By today, I have been living in Tokushima for 6 months and 3 weeks.

I am now 24 years, 4 months, and 2 days young. =p

I am still messy, heavy, blur, and well, ME.

I was back to Malaysia for 2 weeks and had the busiest 2 weeks. Well in term of holiday in Malaysia where it used to fill with relaxing and eating and going out with friends, the 2 weeks I had, was the busiest.

I had started my new semester, and received my results. All I can say is ALHAMDULILLAH. It was more than I expected with only 4 credits dropped and a more As than I expected. I dont know whether I should pat my back or not. Haha

It is Autumn in Japan and sometimes it is cold and sometimes it isnt. The smell of Kinmokusei was sooo nice and it is everywhere!

I bought the most expensive purchase in my life after my trustful MissPinkie(DELL 1420) and MAS tickets to back home last time (cost me whooping 110000Yen++). `The thing` isnt new,but she/he performs very well. I am now trying to make she/he to look more MINE. Pink, Hello Kitty and cute stuffs thrown here and there... but I have no money to do so. Takpe buat sikit2


Owh, dah lambat but I still wanna wish all my friends and reader, SELAMAT HARI RAYA, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN.

Salam Aidilfitri dari saya, Nurul Amalina Aisyah Muhamad Azmi a.k.a ciEri

76

(aku bukan tertinggal 1 entry atau salah taip,memang entry ni num 76.entry num 75 dah disimpan dalam draft atas beberapa sebab2 tertentu.sekian)

I dreamed of someone last night. Someone who used to be a very good friend to me. But sadly said, not anymore. Not even a good friend and I am in doubt if we are still FRIENDS with each other.

Read more »

74

A part of you has grown in me

And so you see, it`s you and me

Together forever and never apart

Maybe in distance, but never in heart

anonymous

Happy Another Satu Haribulan MrBeau

I Love You

Yesterday, Today and Insya Allah Tomorrow.

73

Life is unfair. 

You put someone first who puts you second. 

You study your ass off for a final only to get a B in the class when you deserved an A. 

You give 110% to someone in a relationship when they only give 40%. 

You’re there for your best friend at 3 a.m. when they need it the most & the next day they don’t pick up their phone. 

You give something your all & sometimes get little to nothing back. 

You care so much about someone who doesn’t care enough about you to say hi once in a while. 

You give someone your time & they give you “sorry, I’m busy”. 

It seems like you’re giving everyone everything & they’re just walking away with it.

taken from pompuanemo`s tumbler which is somehow and sadly, true.

72

You know what...
I am now feeling tired.....
very tired....
of everything....


O F  E V E R Y T H I N G

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Soda! SODA! Carbonated drinks! 炭酸飲物!

I love drinking sodas and I know that it isnt good for one`s health.
But.....
but........
BUT................

I still want to have them.......

To be truth, I am trying to reduce the amount I have each week. It is very hard actually esp in this hot weather.
And I do realize that I am drinking too much soda than I used to. Esp when I was a lil kid. So that is why I am trying my hard to reduce the amount of it.

sangat susah but I will try and live without soda

SAY NO TO SODA!

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it

The internet.

The longest I can live without it, is around 2 full days. Especially when I am in Japan.
I cant stand without checking my emails more than a day as I hate when my inbox is full with unwanted SPAM and FB notifications.
Plus, I am addicted to Twitter. I twit a few time a day even when I am not connected. Thank god that I can twit via SMS and emails. *lega*

In addition to that, I cant live without internet because it is easier to contact my siblings using the internet and of course MrBeau is in screen most of the time.

I am connected almost 24/7. It will be weird if someone say that I am hardly in touch.

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

............................................
I never have a hero!

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Dear Mr Jason Mraz.

I got to know you from a guy. Before that, I do know you from your song like `lucky` but I never gotten to like you more.
From the guy(who isnt/wasnt my BF,just someone I used to chat with) I get to know you better. And I`d fell in love with `geek in pink` and `make it mine`. Neither did I knew before that I would use any of your song`s title more than a song. For example, this blog`s name and also, my hp email.
The song make it mine,had get me through the hardest time. Giving me energy to study throughout the hardest period during my diploma years.
Thank you.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.




On my style.
Coz I lack in that department~
uhuuuu~

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.


This is a tough one....




erm... on how messy my room can be?


HELP HELP HELP

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. 


(I wanted to write my ex but then I backspaced is name.or that girl who seems to envy me of everything I have,but then they did teach me about something. Life isnt a bed of roses petals)


No one.Everyone I know or knew has teach me something. Lies, backstabbing, friendship, hope, distrust, trust, to let go, to be oneself, to accept oneself, etc.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted


A dear friend that I got to know when I was in secondary school.


We used to be bestfriends but as time came,we just drifted along with the time. We hardly keep up with each other or see each other when I come back to my hometown.


We blamed the distance for this.


She has her own bestfriends now and I am no longer hers.


It is sad but this is life. Friends come and go but only few will stay or will try to stay.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit


this should be an easy one.


A `friend` (or should I consider the person still as a friend?) who crushed my self esteem and made me feel like I am the ugliest girl ever lived. The one who only came to me when they wanted has some advantages that I had. 
I was once called `ugly` in front of other friends by someone whom I had knew since I was in primary school. That point I realized that I am nothing more than a slave. Not a friend, not in their clique. I was nothing. Nobody.
I was laughed for being me. They resisted me to be like them,to follow them but hell I hate to be a stupid follower.


And they still try to take me down,calling me names (even now) and trying to make me feel down.
I did,someone they called me by.but not anymore.Physically or mentally.


at least I dont have to tell lies in order to make myself seems higher than oneself

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

I hope I will never have to lie.
or to choose between two (or more) important stuff.
To abandon my studies.
or to make someone sad

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for


My family.
without doubt la.
and my childhood friends.
why?
to show them what AMALINA AISYAH can do. For that I am as same as they are but somehow I am not.
and yeah,to know some do really envy my life is worth it.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

To be a good slave, mother, wife, daughter, friend, sister, employee, and employer

to open a cafe/shop/business of my own. To realize the dream I dreamed of having my own brand.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for

I had forgive someone who broke my heart into little pieces.

and another person who has make me feel like I am the most ugly person in this world thanks to her words.
and she is one of my oldest friend

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for


for being in rage for something that someone had done to me. Sorry to say but I was so angry to you until recently. Every time your name flashes on my computer screen,  I feel like strangling myself alive. For believing in you. For trusting in you. Maybe you are not the wrong one, I am maybe, but still, every time, every second I hear your name, or reading your name, the old scars bleed. Now, it still sometimes and I am trying to forgive you not for your sake, but for my own sake. and also, for my own future.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

My attitude.

My ability to stay strong and never give up.

My eyes.

My ability to love.

My self.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

reti buat kacau tapi susah nak kemaskan balik.

Rumah,bilik mesti bersepah ngan baju2 dan buku2. ceee~ konon kononnya budak rajin blaja la rumah/bilik hanya tempat untuk menukar baju dan tidur sahaja.

deep inside, I am a weak person.

I am fat now. Mahu balik ke diriku yang 50kg

I am harsh. senang buatkan orang sakit hati.

susah nak berenti shopping

fashion sense= zero

senang buatkan orang jatuh suka. dan senang buatkan orang berubah tapi diri sendiri tak berubah2.

nakimushi sket sket nangis. haaaa amik MrBeau plak jenis malas nak pujuk uhukuhuk majuk/nangis sorang sorang la jawab nye~ nyehehehe

wanna change but dunno where and when

too realistic. dreaming= not me. I dont have dream wedding, dream car, dream house, dream job etctec

30 days challenge of myself

30 days challenge~
entry bernumber akan dihentikan buat sementara~


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself. 
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself. 
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. 
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. 
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life. 
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do. 
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for. 
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. 
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. 
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. 
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on. 
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on. 
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) 
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter) 
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. 
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without. 
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. 
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage. 
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? 
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol. 
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? 
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. 
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life. 
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) 
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today. 
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? 
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now? 
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? 
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. 
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

71

Kenapa saya suka Tsuyoshi Domoto?
Kenapa saya suka Tsuyoshi Domoto?

Kami mula bertemu di rancangan Shonen kindaichi no jikenbo. Aku gilakan Manga Kindaichi. So bila tau NTV7 ada tayangkan drama Kindaichi, aku sanggup berjaga malam sebab nak tatap muka Kindaichi.

First impression? OMG This guy really played the role very well. He IS Kindaichi Hajime without doubt. Like Kindaichi Hajime was created for him.

From there, I became obsessed on finding who is this guy. I web searched infos on the drama and from there, I get to know the mystery guy`s name. And I also found out that he is in a duo called KinKi Kids.

Cut the story short, I bought their album (D Album) Listen to it for like, 10 times a day. Painfully read the lyrics and tried to sing along (which I failed with flying colors. Singing and Amalina Aisyah doesnt come along FYI. Basically I croak than sing)

And from the mysterious guy, Tsuyoshi Domoto became one of my reasons for me to come studying in Japan.

Sadly enough, I havent got time (and money of course) to go to his concert yet. Damn! Time is ticking tick tock and I havent meet him face-to-face wawawawa T.T

Why do I like him more than the other Domoto (which,for most of people out there,the much better looking Domoto)

1- He is himself.

2- He sings beautifully. His voice is so nice that by just listen to it, I fall in love it him more and more everytime

3- He takes beautiful picture. Seriously.

4- His personality is just perfect. 

5- The way he is,spells N-I-C-E and OMG-I-L-O-V-E-T-H-I-S-G-U-Y!!! He is sooooo yasashii so nice to others, the way he speaks is much better and nicer than the other Domoto.

etc etc etc

In short,
I love Tsuyoshi Domoto

***

010810

*Smile*

今まで

ありがとう

これからも

よろしく

ヤヤンのことは

大好きだよ!!

：ｘ

70

I need to stop running away.
I need to stop manja-ing myself.
I need to be harsh to myself.

Jangan manja manja.
You need to be tough in order to survive.
Your world will not always tinted in rose color.

Dah, Study weh.
Esok 4 papers.
Diulangi, EMPAT KILLER PAPERS.
One which I dont know why I am taking it,
One which I really need to understand.
One which I keep running away from.
and The last one which is The super basic one but the most important one.


kepala dah start pening2.
I am starting to find comfort in foods..

this isnt good
NOT good at all...

dah pegi study nuh.
study and tawakkal.

69

Seperti yang ramai(mungkin) sedia tahu, aku dah selamat menerima diploma 19 mac lepas.
Happy woh!
I am finally a diploma holder in Applied chemical engineering.
It also means that, I am going to start to live alone.
Here I am almost 4 months after starting living alone, writing what I feel and what I gained and of course lost in this short time.

1- Living alone = needs a lot of money. I need to pay my mansion rent, bills (electric, gas, water and internet).
2- I need to learn how not to buy foods more than I am going to eat.
3- Kena bajet duit leklok. Kejap sangat duit ilang. Dulu ok la sebab takde nak pakai sangat but now, takde duit=tak leh bayar sewa,=kemungkinan letrik,air,gas kena potong adalah sangat tinggi,=kena berlapar.
4- BAsuh baju lipat baju sangat la memenatkat.sebab nak kena make sure yang tak hujan or else, baju basah atau lembab and kena basuh balik.
5- rumah mesti kemas. aaaaaa. Leceh jugak nak bajet sume spick and span. Especially bila summer where lumut lumut senang tumbuh.
6- Sampah. Lambat aja buang mesti membusuk. Dah la dah di tetapkan hari apa boleh buang sampah. terlepas aja mesti membusuk dalam rumah. >.<
7- Kena jimat. Especially dalam letrik,air dan gas. Oh, tenet takpe, sebab unlimited. yang lainlain tu kalau tersalah pakai terlebih pakai banyak la kena pakai.
8- Barang barang dalam rumah = banyak duit. mula mula masuk takde apa menda. ada dapur gas dan mesin basuh aja. Tu pun dah lebih kot. Kena beli fridge, karpet, meja study,periuk mangkuk pinggan sudu garfu, tong sampah, toilet paper,kitchen paper, beras sume.owh TV aku dapat dari senior dan a few others things so sangat la bersyukur jimat a few ten thousand yen.
9- Masa berjimba adalah bertambah dengan sangat pesat. Tiap tiap minggu ada event atau pegi ain.
10- organizing life, as dah takde orang nak jaga,tengok diri ni. nak buat apa pun takde orang nak bising atau marah. Unless la pegi kacau orang tu.huhu

dah mau pegi siap2 tuk kelas~

68

I dont want to be an idol

Or being looked up

Or being popular

Nope

Not at all

I just want to be loved by people who really knows how to appreciate me

67

I blog less and lesser these days....
Sindrom malas

***

Kenapa orang mesti nak melabel orang lain and nak medescriminate orang?
I mean like `ok member ni tak cukup islamic/cool/best/bandar/tak cakap bahasa baku tuk aku tegur/kawan`.
Walhal before ni memang baik ngamngam ala ala tidur sebantal (perumpamaan aja)
I am not pointing this to anyone, more to remind myself and I just wanna convey to all how I feel when something like above happens to myself.

I am frustrated.
I am sad.

Why cant we just be friends like we used to be?

Suddenly,the way I look/think/act/talk become a barrier in our friendship?

Stop the nonsenses!

Yep, Aku tak cukup islamic up to your standard lagi. I dont post islamic quotes or islamic songs. But I still have my own ground to stand up to.

Yes, Aku malas nak berbahasa baku.

Haah, Aku gadis kampung yang serba serbi kekurangan dan kekampungan. Manalah aku reti pasal gig dan indie ni.

Oui, Aku langsung tak cool. I hate hanging my DSLR around my neck and I opt to bring my compact camera around more. As I hate to be a follower.

Hai, Aku sangat bodoh. Ada banyak benda yang aku kena tanya baru aku paham. I am neither born full with information in my head nor born genius. Thats why I ask around, sometimes question that makes me look like stupid and ignorance bitch or she-knew-it-all. Malu bertanya sesat jalan duhhhh!

Oh yes, I aint pretty. Not at all.  I even have problems with my self esteem.

***

Exams stating next week.
Counting my days to *tuuttttttt* *tuuuuttttt*

66

Lyric and entry after READ MORE

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65

Why I loathe SUMMER

1) Freakingly HUMID! kat sini, humidity kadang2 up sampai 90%. That is like being in a sauna room. Or some room without proper air ventilation when its 40 degree outside.

2) Kelas kat sini yang tak reti2 nak pasang aircond.

Or kipas angin at least. Serious, they do not have fan in class. Electric Fan. We have to fan ourself or else we either die in humidity, or feel asleep or....

They will turn on the aircond when it is July. and when the temperature is 29degree (to some places its 30 degree. Differs) At my Uni, starting this year,they only set the aircond temperature to 28degree only. xleh adjust. arghhhh!

3) No angin when you are outside. Kalau bukak tingkap pun time kelas, biasanya, tiada pergerakan angin keluar atau masuk. No. Nil. Nada.

4) Panas will lead to constant need of Soda. Or cold drinks. Or Icecreams. Will lead to kekurangan fund dalam dompet.

5) Bila sendiri bayar bil, you tend to be kedekut. Aircond ada kat bilik, tapi so far, tengah tahan diri dan bersabar with kipas senior sedekah kan. And with Ice creams. And with unlimited supply of water. I am drowning around 4 liters of water these days.

6) Bangun tido dengan peluh 1 badan. Enough said.

7) Have to wear thin clothes. Like baju kurung. or Tee. but I have no Tees!! (alasan nak g shopping)

8) Panas+humid= makeup tak stay! pakai makeup, even simple makeup like foundation wont stay more than 5 mins. lagi2 kalau orang macam aku yang nek beskal pegi kelas (owh, Uni is just 5 mins away). Sampai kelas, 1 muka berpeluh2. There goes my not only foundation, but also my sunscreen.

9) Sebab panas sangat, malas nak gerak. So akan lepak kat umah aja. Will lead to constant consumption of Ice cream. and twittering. and sleeping. and will again lead to weight gain. ARGHHHH

10) It is easy to get sunburn here. Seriously. My hand is darker and so do my face if I dont wear enough sun protection. And I just lost my cap! adehh.....

Ada lagi ke?

My hamster pun lately macam xselesa. (One reason is, I keep teasing her. who can resist her sleeping face or her sleepy-I-Just-woke-up face or her nomming face....) Dia panas. I kena beli cooling pad for her la maksud nya ni.....uhuk2.

64

2 weeks ago, i`d turned 24 years young.
(and I refused to blog anything about it because 24 seems like old.old as in O-L-D,like you are supposed to have a proper life, proper job and matured enough when I have nothing!)

The birthday was a low keyed one compared to last year`s.

But as memorable as it has to be.

I did nothing on my birthday. Had no cake, candles or someone singing me Happy Birthday.
(but had my cake a few days later,so okay la! my first cake since studying in japan summore! And I did get someone to played me a happy birthday song by a violin. Lagi special kan?)

I even had a row with him on my birthday night.

(But I had a great day before my birthday)

This year, I celebrated my birthday with someone special by my side, with friends and filled with laughters.
And pressies (mostly from my family and him)
And loads of FB msges.
And few on my hp.
And no one called.
Never mind.

I am 24 years young now. A young woman. Although I still dont know what I want to do later in my life, I have new aim to be achieved. Something big,hard and full with commitment. Something that will change my life forever. but we never know what life has for us in the future,so I just can pray for the best. For Him knew the best for me.

Except the fact that I am fatter and chubbier and rounder, I love who I am now.
(Okay Okay,I still need to improve a lot,but we will be there sometime okay?)
I still have my childishness, and my silliness too. My clumsiness hasnt 100% goes away yet, my tongue had gotten sharper and I am building my own Shoppe with my own. With help from great friends and family of course.

When I was a kid, I never imagined that I would be when I am 24 and I am still cant imagine what I am going to be when I am older. Even who I am going to be when I am 25 or 30. I will be someone, and I am hoping that someone I am going to be, is a great person and has a great personality. And yet, she knows her roots.

As for my birthday, I had gotten myself something to care, to love and to share. She is my bundle of joy and love. I love her to bits to the extend that sometimes,I feel like biting her into half.

Please meet Miko (MikoChin), my cheeky daughter.

***

Thanks Ibu and Abah for being the best and the greatest Parents for me, for believing in me, for letting me to pursue what I dream, for praying for me, for doakan me everytime

Thanks adik2 for letting me be..erm..me;kakak yang agak gilo~

Thanks member2 fer being my friends in need, teman shopping perabis duit,teman makan and.....(sila isi sendiri wee~)

Thanks Allah for letting me alive, healthy, kicking, eating for another day, week, month and year.

Thank you Allah for your endless nikmat and rahmat although I dont deserve them all.

Thanks badan sendiri for staying healthy and `behave`

Thank you for my supporters.Especially who help me with my Shoppe.

Who believed in my crazy project.

Thanks to everyone

And I love you all.

With all my heart.

***

Thanks Lysa, Thanks Budak2 Ooishi~

***

and,

(Tutup muka kaver malu buat kenyataan terbuka macam ni. *blush blush blush*)

Thanks Dear for accepting me who is full with inner and outer flaws.

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I had been thinking a lot.
What should I do.
What do I want to do.
What kind of life do I want to pur sue.
etc
etc..
It is all like a big jumbled pieces of jigsaw puzzle.
I am taking the risk. Now I have to think on what I want it to be.

Its all about choices baby.
Different choice will takes me to different path of life.
Do I really want to risk everything I have?
Am I really want to sacrifice what I want and what I had been doing for something else..?
Matikan impian citacita sendiri demi menda lain yang nampak macam penting
am I selfish if I choose my dream instead?

Walaupun aku tak sure apa yang aku nak buat.Tak sure lagi.
Yeah,of course,I can do anything I want.

But,still....
(sigh)

Balik cepat please.
I need your opinion on this thing.
After all,it might be something to do with you.

After all it takes two to tango.

62

Dah sebelas haribulan enam tahun duaribu sepuluh!!!!!

Oh no oh no oh no oh no OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!

*peluh nervous*

What to do what to say what to wear what to talk how to behave?????

And I have like 20 hours to prepare myself.

Great.

ONLY 20 HOURS LEFT!

*tick tock tick tock*

What if what if what if WHAT IF?

He doesnt like me?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

*peluh nervous lagi*

Cuak dowh. Serious.

Cuak. Takut. Nervous. Excited. Tak Sabar.

(Nak jumpa dia depan mata)

Macam macam campur aduk gaul gaul jadi macam ABC.

Have a safe flight Dear.

dah la Ecah.

G buat keje ko yang melambak lambak macam everest tu.

kang ada orang tak tido malam ni.

(since bile aku start bahasakan diri aku `Ecah` instead of Amalina/cIeri?)

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

61

!Haippp! 

Sapa yang rasa entry ni terlalu jiwang dan sebelum anda muntah di atas papan kekunci anda, saya menasihati anda supaya klik pada butang X di sebelah kanan browser anda (bagi pengguna Windows) dan butang bulat merah bagi pengguna Mac. Sekian. Kerjasama anda sangatlah saya hargai.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISKS!

***

To second third handsome guy in the world who is now sleeping peacefully in black Tee...
(Sorry la yek as you wont get the most handsome guy yet. So far My Abah and my Ayoh -fraternal grandfather - are still the most and the second handsome guys in the world respectively. Huhu)

(OK, you look very handsome la today. Time tengah tido pun handsome with your rambut terpacak pacak macam ada letak wax)


Dearest You
Selamat Satu Haribulan.



Like what you had said to me a few days ago `Kita baru # bulan. Insya Allah kita ada banyak bulan lagi`

Insya Allah.
And may we have a lot more months together.
Our journey has just begin.
With a lot more to come.

Thank you for supporting me.

And keep being one of my backbones, will you?

Thank you for making me happy so far.

And can you keep making me feel like I am the most beautiful and lucky girl in this world?

Thank you for cherishing me.

And keep on cherishing me, will you?

Thank you for loving me.

And keep loving me, please?

(As I,love you too)

60

(weee~~~entry ke 60 untuk tahun 2010)


Lately aku rajin bloghopping ke blog blog bride-to-be. Kenapakah? Adakah masa untuk aku telah tiba? Owh tidak sama sekali. Tolong jangan buat spekulasi yek.


Its all started after I took order for Gemini*Shoppe from a bride-to-be. Usha la blg dia baca persiapan dia sket sket. Dia plak ada link ke another b2b`s blog so terklik la dan terbaca la pasal persiapan dorang nak tunang/nikah/kawen. Kinda fun to read you know.


Tapi kadang kadang terpikir gak. kenapa orang kita (read Malaysian) obses dengan kulit putih melepak macam tepung gomak? Yang asal gelap hitam manis pun akan try nak putih kan kulit sebelum their big day. Yang paling tak leh blah yang putihkan kulit muka aja while kulit tangan badan gelap/kusam aja.

Definasi cantik/lawa=putih ke?

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59

Update jap before pegi kelas.

Lagu cute banget yang menjadi kegemaran buat masa ini.
150juta kali by Kak FynnJamal.

 Aku punya manja, kau saja boleh rasa
Rahsia kita berdua..

=)
For lyric click more ya

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58

Are distance finally catching up with us?
For I am not suitable to be a dreamer.

57

I dont know how should I describe myself.
I am not cool.
For sure.

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Post ni jiwang so kalau tak mao baca sila kelik pada butang X di hujung kanan browser anda

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Aku terbaca entry lama Hidd yang ni Cerita dongeng 1
terfikir
dan terfikir...
hurm.....
Bukan nak pressure hanya terfikir....
haha.

tipu r kalau aku cakap aku takmo kawen.
nak *angguk kepala*
tapi kadang kadang rasa takut *gigit bibir*

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52

`Friendship Forever k?`
`Ko jangan lupakan aku tau!`
`forget me not...`
`kita kawan sampai mati tau`
`ko ngan aku tetap kawan sampai bila bila`

kita selalu dengar kata-kata cam kat atas tu terutama nya bila nak abes sekolah, nak grad, time tulis buku autograf.
tapi...
in reality nya, sejauh mana kita dapat kotakan kata kata yang kita tulis tu? setahun, dua tahun, tiga tahun...?
Keeping touch yep as I myself know, are hard. But we can still try to do so kan? angkat telefon sms, send email, tulis kat wall facebook. keeping in touch isnt as hard as it used to be.

`ko duduk jauh`
`padan muka ko sapa suh study jauh2 sangat`
`aku xde kontak num ko la...`
`aku malu la. ko ngaji tinggi..aku takat sekolah menengah jah`
etc etc etc seribu satu alasan yang diberi.  alasan. padahal kalau nak, seribu ribu lemon cara ada. kadang kadang kita terlalu bias. dan juga mudah lupa.

`ala...dia pun mesti dah xingat kat aku.`
atau sebab dapat member lain, member lama di lupakan.
Dapat member kat sekolah menengah, member zaman kanak kanak dan member sekolah rendah dilupakan. dapat clique baru kat uni, clique lama kat sekolah menengah ditinggalkan.

Sedih jugak la bila jadi camni. Ada orang pernah cakap kat aku,`aku bukan taknak ajak ko, tapi ko jauh sangat, sure ko xbalik punya`
at least, bagitahu la. dapat datang atau tidak tu soal belakang. Ko ingat atau tak tu yang penting.
ces ces cescessss....

aku terpikirla kan, apa perlunya cakap `kawan sampai mati` friendship forever` etc etc when hakikatnya kita lupakan sume kata kata yang kita cakap/tulis tu after a while? hanya kerna semua orang tulis macam tu, tak semestinya kita pun kena tulis macam tu. Sure people come and go, but with some effort, you can stay where you are and what you are. 100 tahun pun. 1000 tahun pun.
Mungkin aku takde member yang ngaku bestfriend aku so aku pikir macam ni. maybe yes and maybe no.
aku tak suka bila jumpa member yang pernah ngaku bestfriend, yang pernah tido sebantal, share 1 selimut, yang sama sama makan 1 talam time orentasi, yang sama sama mengekek kekek bila baca majalah, tak kenal satu sama lain. rasa malu nak tegur bila jumpa. mengelak nak duduk 1 meja bila makan, etc etc etc. tipu lah kalau xd menda camni.

Please, dont make distance and time reasons to be apart.
As I still remember all of you.
and still long to meet all of you.
Tak kira yang kat SKSering, atau kat MMP. dn juga kat PPKTJ.

jangan biarkan dirimu diselimuti misteri friendship yang berharga hilang. make some effort la.